Patience is a virtue

Can i be angry??

To Hubby:
How i wish i could smack the questions i had in mind to your face? I've been trying my very best to keep everything to myself. You know what? Communication is important in marriage life. However your problem is, you cant have a heart to heart talk. Its going to destroy us. The thing is, i love you, i cant deny that and i hate myself for that. You knew that i cant live being cheated and lied. But i have to, now. Its hurting me so badly that im going crazy. I have three things in mind.
1. Ignore whatever you are doing and continue being hurt.
2. Do whatever that you are doing so you have a feel of what i feel.
3. Have a heart to heart talk.

Hahha. Judging from the way things are, option 1 and 3 are out of question. Option 2 seems so cruel but if it makes you realise then its not that cruel. Wakakaka. Okay i sound like an evil wife. Hahaha.

Okay, i think for now, i just keep quiet. Maybe when the time is right then i decide okay. Life is like that. You have a few choices, just choose it, thinking of all consequences and do it. That's life. We just have to live it whether we like it or not. We need to move on rather than fretting non stop. Fullstop.

To my mum:
Yeah i know life is hard for you. I need my own life too you know. You want to find a house and ask my siblings to live with me. You are shirking your responsibility. Its not that i wont take my siblings. Yar, when life is hard up, they are my siblings no matter what and i'll take them in. But mom, you wont need to feel the pinch of bringing up your children till they are married. You wont know how they succeed in life one day. Dont tell me, when they do, you want to claim all the credits after dumping them on me. From what i know, you fight with my father for their custody 1 year ago. But now, you are so tired living with them. You have to sacrifice alot as a single mother. Why cant you have that mindset? You only think about your cyber friends who you never meet and trust them more than your children. Okay fine. I dont mind. You find a 3 room flat as soon as possible and i'll willingly take them in okay? But dont forget that your children are still schooling and you have the responsibility to take care of their welfare. Do what you say, i'll wait for it to happen okay. For how long you can depend on people. :))

The stupid me as usual. I watched a video on youtube about caesarean. I was scaring myself looking at the video. I closed the window after one second of watching it. Ohh myy, its sooooo discouraging :( I dont want. I want to deliver normally. How they will dig their hand inside my stomach just sent shivers down my spine. How ugly will my stomach look later on.. Ugly.. Haish..

Dear unborn baby, please do your job inside mama's tummy. Please turn your head to the right position so mama will deliver you normally. I love you. Im still curious about your gender.. Hmmm..

Hees. Okay.. Thats for it now.. Update if there is anything. Byebye.